Procrastination or Simply No Mood

Why aren't I picking up my notes? Sigh.. Simply no mood. After the 1st paper yesterday, it just seems like a drag till the end of exams, though that's like only next Monday. Sigh.. Just two more!!

Seriously, the world is now thrown into chaos of all sorts. Swine flu, global economy downturn... As if things aren't depressing enough already. Sick. Nothing's good on the news nowadays, they are either reporting on: a) The global economy or b) The natural disasters and diseases and whatever. (-.-") We should all boycott the news. Why invoke fear? It will all end up in a vicious cycle that will just spiral downwards, making things worse than it already is. Shouldn't they just say something more encouraging? I mean it's one thing to report the truth and another to make it seem like it's all so depressing. WTF.

Anyway, on the more mundane part of my pathetic life, I got myself to run around my neighborhood today after napping in the afternoon. BUT, I ate things like 五香 that my Mom made for dinner, so I think it's freaking useless in my bid to fight fats. I am fighting a losing battle. :( Come on Ms Ke! Stitch your mouth! Barh.

I've been feeling really tired and seem to be in constant lack of sleep. I think it's going to be that time of the month soon. Freak. I hope it happens now or after the 10th of May. Freak.

3 bowls of green bean soup. (o.O*)

I just had three bowls of green bean soup with sweet potato. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Good heavens. I NEED to stop gorging on food so late at night. I have to practise food abstinence. Argh. Just can't shake off the feeling of fatness recently. So unsatisfied with my body. Flabs everywhere and yet all I do is to eat the wrong kind of food at the wrong times. ARGH. I should stitch up my mouth. I need to be abstemious!

Running tomorrow. Period. (-.-''')

Tired

These few days I kept feeling tired although I really didn't do much in the day. I think it must be due to all the late nights. Sometimes, I amaze myself by managing not to fall asleep even when I am already super tired. But now, I really just want to close my eyes. I can't remember much of the geog stuff I have studied today. :( My memory is FAILING me, which is a sign of 'maturity'. *Er hems* Where is my memory power when I need it? Come to think of it, there are too many nitty gritty things to remember though. Actually, the stuffs are quite interesting. It's just that somehow, I find it different, or should I say, more difficult to recall anything when I am reading something for exams as opposed to reading just for leisure. This is so weird.

So dead.

I have not been studying yesterday and today at all. So dead for the exams but yet I don't really have any panicky feeling. No hint of nervousness. I guess it's not important anymore. Been eating junk late at night. I was watching My Name is Kim Sam Soon yesterday like I said at 1 am on Channel U, didn't help when I saw the pastries they portrayed in the show. So I ate a slice of fudgey chocolate cake. (-.-") I MUST NOT do that anymore!!!! Argh.. Want to laser off the fats. I just came back from running. The third time this week. Quite proud of myself. (^.^) After all that emotional upheaval early in the wee hours of the morning from 1 to 4 am, exercising makes me feel soothed as well.

Sigh... I wonder if I would ever get down to mug at least a little today.

Touched

I've been watching My Name is Kim Sam Soon on Saturdays for a few weeks now. Today's episode made me really touched. I don't know why. But it really made me very touched and yes, I cried. While I was watching it, I started to recall the life shared with my Dear for the past few years, things that he had said to me and what he had done for me. There were definitely really sweet and happy moments. And then there was anger, there was sadness, there was miscommunication, there was plenty of fun, there were fights, small ones, big ones, but yet we always make up. I complain about him, nagged at him, wanting him to be nicer to me etc etc etc. And then suddenly, while I was watching the show, I just know he is very good to me, perhaps even better than what I realised. Because if he had not taken the effort to be the one to talk to me calmly, not get mad at me, give in to me and tried to make things work out every time we quarrel, our relationship and love wouldn't have grown. It is a weird feeling that overwhelmed me and made me cry. I think it is how grateful I feel, how blessed I am to know that he has gone through difficult times with me, that actually, he cares more than he is able to show, that he worries about me and it is just my own insecurity that makes me feel that I need more. I don't know what came over me but I feel so emotional. I just talked to him on the phone but I couldn't tell him anything about what I feel at all. He sensed something was going on and pressed me to tell him what is on my mind but this little act of his made me feel all the more touched. So I decided to come here to sort of 'release' my emotions, and I don't yet again know why but it is so coincidental, I went to read Shao's updated link reflected on my blog and her post dedicated to Weiming, and it made me cry all over the nth time tonight since 2 am just now. Sigh. I just know ultra-clearly now, I really love my Dear. He makes me feel special. I have a lot to be thankful for and I am simply glad he is with me.

Hot and Bothered.

The weather is SO damn hot that I am beginning to believe that the 2012 prediction about the solar blast is going to come true. (>.<) Sigh... SO HOT!!!! As if this is not enough, more news came along today to make me feel bothered. First, my dear Boss sent an email about the class' average performance for the recent test. I am below average by a few percentage points. Nevermind, I might still be able to make up for that. Then, came the email from that loser on the answers to the take-home assignment, out of which about half I got the answers wrong. This last semester has been a total CMI + CUI sem. But whatever. I know my standing in the end-result already and I accept it. So, I spent half the afternoon writing out the lists of things I should bring to Taiwan and of the things I want to buy there. (^.^) This makes me feel much happier than to look at all the stupid, irritating school crap. Oh, but I have completed another set of notes. Congrats.

Mug mug mug!

I need to mug faster. Lol. But the thing is, I can't even remember the things I read! Helpppp! I think I should really make a tune out of all the words in the lecture notes. How I wish they were like lyrics! I can remember the lyrics of a song that is ultra-old - like from 1992?

Gosh! I can't concentrate!!!! EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSS!

Taiwan!! :)

I am so excited about the trip!! Haha! There goes the frog in the well. Can't blame me for that. It is only the first time I am flying out of Singapore. Pathetic. So yes, I am getting really excited as the day nears!

I just realised yesterday I have an 'extra' day!! Miss Little Blur. I actually planned my itinerary for 5 days because somehow, I keep thinking I only have 5 days there, but in actual fact it is from 5th May to 10th May, which is actually 6 days in total! Jeez. What is wrong with my head? So now, I have an 'extra' day so to speak. LOL. Hopefully, I will get to buy a lot of things. And, with the 'extra' day, Dearie and I will be visiting Mr. Jay Chou's restaurant. LOL. Not like we will meet him in person, but we can hope. :D

Good news from my Mommie this morning, she told me that my brother has told her yesterday that he will be sponsoring some cash for me to spend! Yay! I really hope that is true. (^.^) Plus some contribution from Dad, whom I have no doubt will be like fussing over whether I have enough money overseas and blah blah blah... I think I can have a good time there before coming back to... Well, look for income to pay any debts and loans from school fees, computer loan and blah blah. Not really worrying about that now. In any case, I don't expect much really. I just have no ambition AT ALL. As long as I am comfortable and happy, I will be satisfied with holding a normal, average, stable job like anybody else. That's so much more important. Guess this tells a lot of the person I am.

Looking forward to see all my friends, have great times during gatherings, celebrating a few birthdays... I love all of these people. Sigh... Long-live love and friendship! :D

Alright. I think i have to start mugging. Yikes! Today's weather is good for running in the evening later!! :D

Finally..

Yay! Finally, I have taken the first step to fight fats! LOL. Just went running around my neighbourhood, did a little stretching exercise and walked up 8 flights of steps back to my house. (^.^) Feels good. Now I need to control my diet and keep up the good work of exercising. Stop gorging on food, Joyce Ke. (>.<)

Studying

Don't feel like sitting down to study! I simply can't focus at all. :( Prefer to watch TV, read a book, eat or even sleep. Anything would be better than touching those disgusting, eeeuuky, stinking notes.

And I am fat. Need to seriously diet and exercise strictly. If not, I can rant all I want and STILL be fat. Yikes.

Life after FYP

First post of my new blog! Decided to abandon the previous one. Too much rubbish to clear. Most importantly, I feel like I am leaving the sadness, grouchiness, all that anger and despair due to FYP behind.

Life shall start afresh! :D